Honestly I don't know how to convey my emotions about how I feel over what has happened the past few weeks. It looks like I made a bad call sticking with my doctor.
Its not his fault but he transfered clinics to one with a much poorer lab and reputation and I was informed only at my final ultrasound before egg retrieval.
I had a split second to make a decision and I chose to stick with him. My poor med filled brain was barely working at the time and I was still in shock.
I didn't know the clinic either so I hoped it wouldn't be so bad,
But on going there for retrieval we were shocked at this small place and when I met the embryologist my instincts said this is going to be bad, they didn't want us to go to blastocyst either.
Its so bad and I think its there fault I didn't have more embryos and some to freeze I mean we had 9 embryos,
a 100% fertilization rate,
all 9 where absolutely fine on day 3 and all of them were alive with no abnormalities on day 6 they just 'slowed down' I think that she just didn't know how to look after them :(
But yesterday we were in contact with the 'fertility association' and the woman who has also done IVF there and did not get pregnant said that in all her 6 years in the business shes never heard one success story from that clinic.
Of course I can say all this and we all know there was a 50% chance that it would failed anyway so we'll never know anything for sure.
Its just so sad to lose my doctor. I really believe in him as a doctor and we may use him for the cycle monitoring at his private clinic,
not at that place and then do the IVF at our chosen clinic.
We have 3 contenders:
one is a neighbouring country 300km away with a better price and success rate and long time in the business.
two: is the clinic we were supposed to go with who have a very good reputation and I know there embryologist for my iui days she has a good rep.
three: is another fertility clinic decent enough success rate,long time in the business.
I think the choice is mainly between one and two but we'll see.
I'm so upset not only did I lose my babies( to me it was a loss).
But I have to go through this again and we will send ourselves really broke this time but stopping now is not on option.
Thats what happens if IVF NO.2 doesn't work :(
Unless we get snowbabies this time we'll need to stop for minimum of 1 year and max 18 months.
I just put that max in now, because screw it I won't be waiting longer than that.
I'd probably hang myself, well not really but it would really push the limits of my sanity.
I've learned a lot this time I pray its enough to make IVF NO.2 be the one for us.
I know I need more meds next time my e2 levels were too low, he was conservative due to the fact it looked like I had so many follies on screen but so many of them turned out to be empty.
I'm also considering two transfers in one cycle .
put two on day 3 and another 2 on day 5 not sure if the other clinics will let me do this. My doctor would have.
We'll see its all a lot of maybes right now.
We're meeting with a woman from the fertility assosiation thursday evening then we'll have a lot more info.
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I'm not sure, you probably already know this, but since you will be producing eggs you need to eat a lot of protein. And doing acupuncture or some form of regular relaxation will help you conceive. Doing daily yoga, meditation, or exercise is one of the things that helped me conceive, I am convinced. And something to get the blood flowing in your hip region such as acupuncture, yoga, exercise, will promote growth and nourishment to the region. Good luck!!
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