So I got back my immune testing results and everything is normal.
All my tests are fine.
I don't like that my LH is higher than my FSH which indicts Pcos but so far the doctor says the levels are fine I'll talk to her again about it at my appointment on the 6th August.
MY FSH is 6.3 which is in the good egg quality/quantity but it makes me sad coz at 25 I expected it to be half that and in the excellent quality/quanity.
There are two things that majorly suck about this I have spent 200 euros on blood tests alone this month and all my results are fine so I didn't really need these tests but I guess I wouldn't have known that unless I did them thats my consolation.
The second thing is both me and Dh are upset about is there are NO ANSWERS,NO REASON WHY. If something came back in these tests we could have added extra meds to counteract it but theres nothing they can find.
I have eggs,
he has sperm, We make embryos's just fine with a 100% fertilization rate without Icsi
The average is 70%.
We got to blastocyst despite the shitty lab/embryologist we had,
Theres nothing wrong with my womb.
I've never had polyps,mioma's just a perfectly normal womb.
But it just doesn't work for us not 5 iui's ,a few tsi cycles and 1 ivf and nearly 7 years of unprotected sex.
I'm not giving up I'll go down fighting thats the way I am. This is not a battle anymore its a WAR. Hopefully we can win this war very soon.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Looking back on the past.
These are photo's of me and my brothers and sister when they came over to visit me here in Lithuania in 2008.
It was great to have them here,
as at that time it was my first time moving away full time from my home country after that I didn't see them for another 14 months eekk that was a long time.
Then I moved back to Ireland for a year in April 2009
(orignally we only came back for a 10 day holiday which turned into a year ;)
Now I'm back here in Lithuania since April 2010 wasn't supposed to stay this long but we never thought we'd need IVF No.2
I'm hoping to be pregnant and back in Ireland for at the latest Halloween if not earlier.
But If you seen all my above plans you'd see things don't always go according to plan for us ;) so there are no guarantees for us except there pretty much won't be more fertility treatments for a good while if this doesn't work there just isn't the money for it.
Looking back on these times I really wish they could come back over here for a trip. We went places all the time and they rented a 7 seater it was great (well most of the time)
I want them to try out a different season here they've done winter now maybe Autumn would be good ;)
Theres all the different berries,nuts and stuff and we could hang out in the forest and plus the house is liveable now so we'd all get to stay in my place.
Definitely got more than enough sleeping space here for a lot of people its really fun to live in a big house but sometimes its empty without people to fill it.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Just my thoughts for now
Right now my Life isn't bad.
I mean I'm very up and down but todays not a bad day so far.
We are day 6 into the heatwave eek 32 degrees today not fun.
Can't get the temperature in the house down much sometimes 23 degrees at night but mostly its 25/26 degrees
We had to go out at midday to go to the town not fun when driving but nice to get out in the daytime again.
I'm so over mosquito's the real life vampires they don't get in through the windows but they do get in through the door every time we go out, sucks.
I blame myself a lot for infertility,
mostly coz I'm stressed but now I'm stressing about being stressed (cause I recognize it as bad) so I can't escape it no matter how I try.
Waiting to see if I will start acupuncture can't really afford it, can't really afford any of this but its what we have to do.
Going to have more blood tests done next week thats another 300$
This time round is so much more expensive,more expensive ultrasounds,appointments,tests everything basicly.
I wonder does it ever happens that a couple have embryos to freeze but have to let them die because they cost to much to freeze.
I'm worried it could happen to us this time hoping it won't we might not even have anything to freeze.
I want things to be different this time.
I'm lonely over here.
I wish my family could visit, thats not gonna happen.
We don't really have many friends over here and the family we have over here told us last time they visited
'you shouldn't try now cause you don't have the means for a child' we have a house no mortgage and a car so screw you.
She said that last time we did iui last year too.
Thats so easy to say for the woman who has 3 kids already.
I also know that I won't physcially be myself til after christmas if this time doesn't work,
Coz I'm putting my body through a lot to go through two ivf cycles in 3 months.
I'm not myself now, so how am I gonna be this time during treatment I just don't know.
I mean I'm very up and down but todays not a bad day so far.
We are day 6 into the heatwave eek 32 degrees today not fun.
Can't get the temperature in the house down much sometimes 23 degrees at night but mostly its 25/26 degrees
We had to go out at midday to go to the town not fun when driving but nice to get out in the daytime again.
I'm so over mosquito's the real life vampires they don't get in through the windows but they do get in through the door every time we go out, sucks.
I blame myself a lot for infertility,
mostly coz I'm stressed but now I'm stressing about being stressed (cause I recognize it as bad) so I can't escape it no matter how I try.
Waiting to see if I will start acupuncture can't really afford it, can't really afford any of this but its what we have to do.
Going to have more blood tests done next week thats another 300$
This time round is so much more expensive,more expensive ultrasounds,appointments,tests everything basicly.
I wonder does it ever happens that a couple have embryos to freeze but have to let them die because they cost to much to freeze.
I'm worried it could happen to us this time hoping it won't we might not even have anything to freeze.
I want things to be different this time.
I'm lonely over here.
I wish my family could visit, thats not gonna happen.
We don't really have many friends over here and the family we have over here told us last time they visited
'you shouldn't try now cause you don't have the means for a child' we have a house no mortgage and a car so screw you.
She said that last time we did iui last year too.
Thats so easy to say for the woman who has 3 kids already.
I also know that I won't physcially be myself til after christmas if this time doesn't work,
Coz I'm putting my body through a lot to go through two ivf cycles in 3 months.
I'm not myself now, so how am I gonna be this time during treatment I just don't know.
Monday, July 5, 2010
What they say stings but more so it hurts to know they really believe it
On Saturday on Article was published online about The plight of infertile couples and that for 11 years they have tried here (in Lithuania) To create IVF leigisalation ie so their can be donor eggs,sperm etc in this country which is currently illegal.
They also ask for IVF to be made compensatable or at least partly so under the healthcare system.
Now this isn't what caused the big problem for me,
I wish that this could happen and things could change here, We saved for this IVF and it will send us broke but what about those who can't at all?
My Husbands cousin in no way could afford treatment.
She has always wanted kids and she'll be 31 this year and still getting no where as they can't afford treatment.
It was the comments that got me down not the article. So many who said that us (infertiles) asking for this to be compensatable is the same as the asking for new cars, holidays to hawaii and other materialistic goods from the tax payer.
Its sickening.
When it was brought up that treatment for alcholics,drugs addicts and such is free and paid for by the tax payer.
They responded with don't judge the alco's
They said its our own fault that infertile people are the way they are because they chose this by having abortions and taking contraceptives (so untrue for the majority) Like fertile people don't use contraception yeah right.
They said that it natures natural selection and God's choice but how is it true?
I want to believe God can bless us with a child.
But if its natures natural selection then why are alcholics parents?,incest victims carry the children of their own parent? People with Hiv have children,
So do people that have cancer.
Why are they a better selection than us?
They make me so Mad, but at the same time they put doubt in my mind,
If so many people believe this what if its true? Should we just give up?
I don't know whats right or wrong anymore.
Maybe we're in denial, thats why we won't give up, maybe one day we'll know the answer or maybe not?
but for now we keep on trying.
They also ask for IVF to be made compensatable or at least partly so under the healthcare system.
Now this isn't what caused the big problem for me,
I wish that this could happen and things could change here, We saved for this IVF and it will send us broke but what about those who can't at all?
My Husbands cousin in no way could afford treatment.
She has always wanted kids and she'll be 31 this year and still getting no where as they can't afford treatment.
It was the comments that got me down not the article. So many who said that us (infertiles) asking for this to be compensatable is the same as the asking for new cars, holidays to hawaii and other materialistic goods from the tax payer.
Its sickening.
When it was brought up that treatment for alcholics,drugs addicts and such is free and paid for by the tax payer.
They responded with don't judge the alco's
They said its our own fault that infertile people are the way they are because they chose this by having abortions and taking contraceptives (so untrue for the majority) Like fertile people don't use contraception yeah right.
They said that it natures natural selection and God's choice but how is it true?
I want to believe God can bless us with a child.
But if its natures natural selection then why are alcholics parents?,incest victims carry the children of their own parent? People with Hiv have children,
So do people that have cancer.
Why are they a better selection than us?
They make me so Mad, but at the same time they put doubt in my mind,
If so many people believe this what if its true? Should we just give up?
I don't know whats right or wrong anymore.
Maybe we're in denial, thats why we won't give up, maybe one day we'll know the answer or maybe not?
but for now we keep on trying.
Its worth a try . Just in case he's listening
This miracle prayer should be said every day for three days. Promise publication and prayer and favour will be granted, no matter how impossible.
Dear Heart of Jesus in the past I have asked for many favours. This time I ask for a special one (mention here)
Take it dear Heart of Jesus and place it within your own broken Heart where your father sees it.
Then, in His merciful eyes it will become Your favour not mine.
Amen.
St Gerard also please hear my prayer.......
Dear Heart of Jesus in the past I have asked for many favours. This time I ask for a special one (mention here)
Take it dear Heart of Jesus and place it within your own broken Heart where your father sees it.
Then, in His merciful eyes it will become Your favour not mine.
Amen.
St Gerard also please hear my prayer.......
Friday, July 2, 2010
Update on Me and about IVF no.2
Had doctors appointment today had to wait nearly on hour over my time.
Oh well apparently this is what it's gonna be like if you want the best and busiest doctor in town.
Looks like this cycles cyst is gone. The results of my new tests came back. Don't have any infections yay.
Unfortunately we're talking 200euros more worth of blood tests need to be done in the next few weeks ahhhh.
So many tests but it'll all be worth it if we get successful treatment because of it, Might send us broke though.
But now the irony of my life my opk is almost positive today most likely to turn positive tomorrow,
But I'm to start progesterone tonight to make sure my cycle is on schedule.
So it might interfere with my ovulation, we'll see I didn't think I would ovulate now or maybe not at all this cycle,
yesterdays test was nothing there, dang it.
I'm going ahead with the meds but I might regret it, we'll see.
So Ivf no.2 is roughly set for transfer at the end of August.
I have to call whenever this period starts, so I can book the appointment get the shot for the long protocol then we wait until its time to start stims again.
Thats all for now we'll see what happens if anything changes or if I remember anything else I need to say.
Oh well apparently this is what it's gonna be like if you want the best and busiest doctor in town.
Looks like this cycles cyst is gone. The results of my new tests came back. Don't have any infections yay.
Unfortunately we're talking 200euros more worth of blood tests need to be done in the next few weeks ahhhh.
So many tests but it'll all be worth it if we get successful treatment because of it, Might send us broke though.
But now the irony of my life my opk is almost positive today most likely to turn positive tomorrow,
But I'm to start progesterone tonight to make sure my cycle is on schedule.
So it might interfere with my ovulation, we'll see I didn't think I would ovulate now or maybe not at all this cycle,
yesterdays test was nothing there, dang it.
I'm going ahead with the meds but I might regret it, we'll see.
So Ivf no.2 is roughly set for transfer at the end of August.
I have to call whenever this period starts, so I can book the appointment get the shot for the long protocol then we wait until its time to start stims again.
Thats all for now we'll see what happens if anything changes or if I remember anything else I need to say.
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